The following questions were asked of the elder [Elder Arsenie (Papacioc)] by Archimandrite Ioannichie (Balan; 1930 –2007)—a talented spiritual writer and poet, author of the Romanian Patericon, and co-ascetic and biographer of Elder Cleopa (Ilie).
—What can one do to restrain the tongue and acquire the gift of silence?
—This is truly a serious matter—to not be the master of your tongue. As the saints say, “The tongue leads us to great falls.” More vanity than benefit comes from loquacity, and malignant gossip brings great danger not only in this world, but also in the next. They say that most of the people in hell are those who murdered with malicious words!
Brother, you must love you brother. Isn’t this the Savior’s most important commandment? He gave this commandment as the crown of all His teachings—that the only way to salvation is love; and He ascended the unforgettable and soul-rending Golgotha!
We must always reiterate to people the responsibility that we bear for our lifetime, the only time given to us, so that we would set a lock upon our tongue and purify our hearts from evil. St. Gregory the Theologian says: “We must answer for every superfluous word, even more so for every shameful word”; how much more horribly for every murderous word! The Patericon is very useful in this regard with its chapter on “The benefit of silence.”
St. Isidore of Pelusium says, “Speaking with benefit is a blessing, but if it is reinforced by deeds, it is crowned.” “For life without words brings greater benefit, while a commanding word evokes anger. If word and life are united they comprise the personification of all philosophy.”
Treasure the Lord in your heart and let your attention abide there, and remain there before the Lord without leaving. Then you will notice every speck of dust in yourself. This is how mystical knowledge begins. It is a mirror for the mind and a lamp for the conscience. It dries up lust, extinguishes rage, humbles anger and disperses sorrow, tames insolence, scatters despondency, gives clarity to the mind, casts out sloth, truly humbles you and makes your reason undeceivable; it wounds the demons, and purifies the body. Such a person is no longer the participant in any wicked deed, but rather is alien to it. He thinks all the time, “Who shall I go to? I am a worm…” This is something different, having to do with remembrance of death and man’s eternal lot, and belongs to mystical knowledge.
Reference: http://www.pravmir.com/god-is-where-there-is-humility-from-the-spiritual-instructions-of-elder-arsenie-papacioc/